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willowspeakI hear discussions about sexual abuse in the Pagan community, I realize that American culture struggles to define sexual misconduct. On what is sexual abuse, I like the Buddhist concept of sexual misconduct. Sexual misconduct very much depends on the context of the individuals in question and what vows they decide to take and how far they take it. Most Buddhist don't believe sexuality is inherently bad, but there are individuals who choose to be celibate. Most practitioners tend to believe that sex within a fully consensual relationship is fine assuming there isn't an abuse of power happening. That isn't to say that sexual misconduct doesn't happen in Buddhism, because it does.
I also think that many people in American culture fail to recognize power dynamics as a whole.
On the question of why sexual misconduct is rampant in the pagan community, I don't think it has much to do with pagan communities subscribing to "free love." I think sexual misconduct is common anywhere you have power differentials because it creates situations in which people are vulnerable and easily exploited. If you consider the fact that pagan traditions are ideally passed on from teacher to student, here you have an unbalanced power dynamic from the start.
As a counselor, I have heard many stories of sexual abuse in which the victim questioned the validity of the abuse because they did not understand the power dynamics. Oftentimes, the victim does not believe it is abuse because they were fooled into believing that they had more power in the relationship or convinced that there wasn't a power differential. I have heard of many situations in which pre-adolescent individuals, often male were sexually abused by a someone who was much older than them, but they were groomed into believing that they were adult-like. In a similar way, prison staff often establish relationships with prisoners, convincing them that their relationship is the same as any ordinary relationship, ignoring the fact that staff have the ability to arbitrarily punish prisoners or manipulate the relationship in multiple ways that prisoners do not have the ability to do. I also see situations in which people in positions of power convince themselves that if they teach in a certain way, that there isn’t a power differential, and then continue a relationship with a vulnerable individual. These situations are similar, though people vary in their intent and the degree to which they abuse situations.
It doesn't matter how you act as a teacher. There is an inherent power dynamic no matter your style. There is nothing a teacher can do to change the fact that the power differential is inherent in the relationship. When you have knowledge to impart and you are one of the few if only source by which a student can learn, then that gives you power in the relationship if the student is seeking said knowledge. The student is vulnerable and the relationship can become an opportunity for abuse. I write to prevent abuse and to help individuals realize when they are experiencing sexual abuse.
I also think that many people in American culture fail to recognize power dynamics as a whole.
On the question of why sexual misconduct is rampant in the pagan community, I don't think it has much to do with pagan communities subscribing to "free love." I think sexual misconduct is common anywhere you have power differentials because it creates situations in which people are vulnerable and easily exploited. If you consider the fact that pagan traditions are ideally passed on from teacher to student, here you have an unbalanced power dynamic from the start.
As a counselor, I have heard many stories of sexual abuse in which the victim questioned the validity of the abuse because they did not understand the power dynamics. Oftentimes, the victim does not believe it is abuse because they were fooled into believing that they had more power in the relationship or convinced that there wasn't a power differential. I have heard of many situations in which pre-adolescent individuals, often male were sexually abused by a someone who was much older than them, but they were groomed into believing that they were adult-like. In a similar way, prison staff often establish relationships with prisoners, convincing them that their relationship is the same as any ordinary relationship, ignoring the fact that staff have the ability to arbitrarily punish prisoners or manipulate the relationship in multiple ways that prisoners do not have the ability to do. I also see situations in which people in positions of power convince themselves that if they teach in a certain way, that there isn’t a power differential, and then continue a relationship with a vulnerable individual. These situations are similar, though people vary in their intent and the degree to which they abuse situations.
It doesn't matter how you act as a teacher. There is an inherent power dynamic no matter your style. There is nothing a teacher can do to change the fact that the power differential is inherent in the relationship. When you have knowledge to impart and you are one of the few if only source by which a student can learn, then that gives you power in the relationship if the student is seeking said knowledge. The student is vulnerable and the relationship can become an opportunity for abuse. I write to prevent abuse and to help individuals realize when they are experiencing sexual abuse.
